The Stories We Tell Ourselves

I ordered my transcripts from college last month. I need to get them converted into the Swedish University system in case I want to take courses in the future. I am only 50 years old so I could potentially study anything in my free time. Like Genetics or Literature.

Anyway, the story I have been telling myself, and to anyone who would listen, is that I was a shit college student, like world class stupid. In my world, my college years were simply 4 years of partying and living large. My Dad, a proud/smug MIT graduate informed me early on that any school that was not Ivy-League would be referred to as a “Mickey Mouse College”.  Hence the story I told myself, and that he told everyone, was that I had spent his money for 4 years at a Mickey Mouse College.

Words are strong and powerful. Without giving it much thought, I gave my Dad the power to shape the story I have been telling myself which was that I did not try at college and that my grades were really poor. My choices in my early Twenties were reflective of that self image. It was not until I was 28 and pursuing my MBA that I discovered that I was actually quite clever.

I got my transcripts the other week and I was floored. Yes, I definitely did not live up to my potential but my grades were actually quite good. My transcript did not tell the story I had been telling myself for 29 years.

This gave me pause. If the story of my academic history was incorrect, what else might I have faulty data on? It also reinforced the power of words and how our kids take what we say to heart on a really deep level. My socials are flooded right now with graduation pictures of young adults that are heading out into the world. Earlier this spring it was posts about what college so and so had chosen. I hope their stories are not being thwarted and misconstrued because of someone else shaping their story. I hope they are pursuing their passions and not living out their parents’ dreams. I hope we are better parents than the ones before us. I hope. I truly, truly hope. That being said, I was close to making a similar mistake with one of my kids. I had to as we say in Sweden..."do it again and do it right".